would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You were trust falling into bushes
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize