I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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