Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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