he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
