u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
