We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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