oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
