i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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