it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
