Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
