the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
