I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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