me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
