i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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