OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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