Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize