Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
found the other keg... it's in the tree
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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