Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize