i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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