I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
