the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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