just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
