Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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