i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
