Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
