Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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