My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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