Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just cut my nipple shaving
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
