I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
