Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize