You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just want to make out with him forever
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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