My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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