now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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