i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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