I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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