First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
