Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
May the power of my ass compel you!!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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