She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
