I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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