I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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