You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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