i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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