oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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