If i come over, it means nothing
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
