the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
