i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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