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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
