I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
