You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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