Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
