I could make wine with my vomit
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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