I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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