Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I CAN MOONWALK!
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
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