I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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