I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
