How'd it feel making her break her religion?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
