its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
