Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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