I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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