Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
