my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
