I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I didn't notice because vodka
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
