I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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