Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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